Spaz Diaries
by MiyukiLovesYou
Summary: Rima is anything but ordinary. Failing every subject, skipping school. What kind of awkward situations do her and her worst enemy, Fujisaki Nagihiko get into? This is none other then Rima Mashiro's diary! And what happens in the diary stays in the diary.
1. Conclusion: Health Is My Worst Subject

**HIIIIII  
NOTE: I'm writing this fanfic at the same time as my other 'The Demon King Hates Me' so if I update slowly :P  
Just kidding, I apologize if I do.  
Nagihiko: Rimahiko, right?  
Me: Oh yes~  
Rima: Oh fuck no—  
Nagihiko: ME DOES DISCLAIMER! *cough cough* I mean I'm doing the disclaimer.  
Rima: 'kay  
Nagihiko: MiyukiLovesYou does not** **own Shugo Chara!**

* * *

«RIMA'S POV»  
This diary officially belongs to Rima Mashiro! Give it to me now or else I'll end your life. Bala-balance!

I walk into the 'Royal Garden' which is now over grown with weeds only to be greeted by a monster sitting in my chair.

"Monster, your butt is on the place were my butt goes," I explained coldly to the 'Monster'; or better known as Fujisaki Nagihiko.

"Say it nicer and I'll consider it." the Monster smirked up at me while he spoke.

"Oh I'm ever so sorry!" I exclaimed, my voice dripping with sarcasm. "Now, would you please get your fat and pathetic ass off my chair?"

"Rima, that isn't better if not worse!" Amu scolded. I stared at her, mortfied.

She was taking the Monsters side?

Nice Amu, nice.

"ARGH!" I stormed off to go to me first damned class and because God despises me that much, I fell down the three - three - steps leading off the place were the Guardian Table sat.

Everyone laughed, but The Monster laughed especially loudly.

Isn't my morning going perfectly?

**ENGLISH CLASS (Y.U.C.K)**

Damn The Monster! He made me late for class.

Don't ask why. It's a long story.

Dammit!

Why English? And our English teacher hates me. This'll just give him another reason to despise my guts. And I have this class with Nagihiko!

**4 MINUTES LATER**

GREAT

Just great.

Today we re arranged seats. Guess who I'll be sitting next to for every other English class I have?

I bet your hoping it's The Monster.

Well, it's not.

I'll spell it for you.

S-A-A-Y-A

SAAYA. Seriously? DAMMIT!

On the plus side Amu's behind me... but the Monster is next to her.

Damn that sneaky Monster... well, he'll never EVER win Amu from me!

Never.

**6 MINUTES INTO CLASS**

Oh I hate him. He kept throwing everything he could find at the back of my head.

ARGH

God please. Make him stop.

Ow. Bastard just threw a sharpened pencil at my head.

Fuck him.

"Fujisaki, stop throwing stuff at my head you god damned monster!" I hissed at him through gritted teeth.

"Hmmmmmmmmmm, nope," he popped the 'P' and stuck his tounge out at me.

"Put your tounge back in your mouth or else I'll staple it to the table," I warned him. He put his tounge back in his mouth and quickly looked back down at the book he was reading.

Footsteps were heading to where I was sitting. Please, please don't be Mr Bitchy Mic Bitch Bitch. Please in the name of god don't be.

I turned around slowly and guess who was staring down at me?

If your guessing it's Mr B.M.B.B then yes, you are correct and yes, I now hate you.

"Mashiro, out. Now," he demanded.

So there goes English class. Thank you so much Fujisaki.

**NEXT CLASS: HEALTH**

Oh god. It's time for health.

And if you think as in health it's all about maintaining the correct shape if your body and blah blah blah eating healthy blahdy blah blah fag, then your wrong.

It's ninth grade now, so this has gone from learning about how not to get fat to Sex Ed.

SEX ED.

Intense shit, right?

"CLASS, SIT DOWN!" Mrs Mentaly Challenged screamed at the wall. She has... mental issues. By that I mean he insists he is a girl so we have go call HIM Mrs.

Emphazise on the him.  
Amu and I walked to a three person table, where we usually sit.

Nagihiko looked at us evilly and came and sat down next to us.

EVVVVIIIILLLLLL

I groaned. "Nagihiko, go sit over there!" I pointed to the class bin.

"Pardon?" He asked me, uninterested.

"Go sit in the bin like a good little bin-monster." Ass-hole won't get lost. He really needs a life. I know I'm super sexy but let's face it, stalking isn't a good habit.

Unless you enjoy being stalked. Then you're a really sick person.

I've been stalked before. It wasn't fun.

But then one day at school he came to school pretty banged up and he avoided my eye contact. Nagihiko was beaten up too.

Hang on... did I just write the Monster's actual name?

Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy paper, must destroy paper, Must destroy Fujisaki, must murder Fujisaki with a sharp object. Or blunt. Blunt is good too.

Look at me rant. I'll write in you later my precious treasure and if you ever disclose my secrets I will personally burn you.

Fujisaki just blew a spitball at me. MUST ATTACK BAAAAAAAAACK!

Time:** 2:03pm** Mood: **Bored as fuck ** Class: **Health**.

Our time tables are messed up. We have two periods of health per week and on the same day. They're spaced out on the day instead of right next to each other.

"Okay, who knows the key to safe sex?" You know who asked. I shuffled down in my seat.

"Let's see... ah! Mashiro?" He raised a eyebrow at me.

"Be either gay or lesbian?" I asked hopefully. I already no I flunked science so what's the point trying?

Oh wait... we aren't in science aren't we?

Well that explains alot...

"... CONDOMS!" He/she screamed whacking me with some book he had in his hand. Funny how stuff always happens in my misfortune huh?

Ah fuck I'm writing with him above me. Crap.

HOLYMOTHERFUCKINGHE'SGONNA

Time: **3:46pm** Mood: **Fucking fine. Just fucking fine.**

Sorry about before. Teach took my diary.

ARGH

I'M SO BORED!

My phone buzzed. I picked it up. A text from RhythmBoy aka Nagihiko

I didn't bother reading. I just threw the phone.

Instead of it landing on the floor or bed it smashed through the window.

Wow. That may cost a lot.

But on the bright side, my phones Nokia. Likeliness of it cracking is extremely low.

Hopefully it survived the fall. I wish you all the best of luck, Nokia.

Riri out!

* * *

**Me: You like?  
Rima: Nope.  
Me: Knew it...  
Nagihiko: I liked it... :/  
Me: I love reviews! *hinthint*  
Rima: No one was harmed in the making of this chapter. Except for that window and my Nokia... :/  
Me: Buh-buh!**


	2. I Suck At English Too

**Rima: So you finally decided to update? How long has it been, you fat scumbag?**  
**Nagihiko: Too long**  
**Miyuki: Yeah yeah, I know. I also REALLLLLLLLY want to thank:**  
**Stargazing Miracle, balabalanceh, Day1Directioner, PandaPuppet and animfan4eva5 for reviewing...**  
**15 fallen angel and animefan4eva5 (again) for favoriting...**  
**15 fallen angel, Day1Directioner, Josephine Dark, PandaPuppet, Stargazing Miracle, animefan4eva5 and my good friend balabalanceh for following.**  
**Rima: That was a lot of people...**  
**Miyuki: Correction: A lot of GREAT people. I love you all! Hope you enjoy this chapter (which I had so much fun writing)**  
**Nagihiko: Before we go shouldn't we put a disclaimer?**  
**Miyuki:... true... here it is then V**  
**DISCLAIMER: ALL SHUGO CHARA RIGHTS BELONG TO BEACH PIT, WHO OBVIOUSLY HAVEN'T RECEIVED MY MANY LETTERS ABOUT HOW I'D LIKE TO BUT SHUGO CHARA OFF ****THEM. MAYBE THEY GOT CAUGHT UP IN THE MAIL...?**

* * *

«RIMA'S POV»  
This diary officially belongs to Rima Mashiro! Give it to me now or else I'll end your life. Bala-balance!

I'm screwed.

Apparently my grades are too low to be natural so now my mum ordered me a tutor for maths and history. Yay.

And to make matters worse, my dad -being the horrible parent he is- ordered me a tutor for English because he didn't want my mum to win the 'better parent competition'.

Great.

But look on the bright side! My parents didn't find out that I broke the window! But the neighbor did. A wild guess as to how would be that when my phone was flying out the window it hit her cat.  
Incidentally her cat has rabies and ran in and bit her. She's currently in hospital.

Woops... ?

At least I'm safe for now. Sort of.

FUCK

THE DOOR BELL... IT JUST RANG.

That means... my tutor is here.

Oh my god... I'm so fucking screwed.

WISH ME LUCK!

_Nagihiko's POV_  
_Rhytm was here! Temari PWNS~ Stay off my diary you two! Nagihiko Fujisaki commands chuuuuuu~_

So here I was standing with my stupid cousin in front of a stupid house that looked oddly familiar.

Obviously I pissed at the world.

My retarded cousin Natsume was laughing while watching a video on his phone and I couldn't help but look.

It was some cat with a spoon tied to it's paw eating soup.

This really made me want to kick my neighbors cat. A lot.

"Natsume... " I said while my eye twitched. "Aren't you going to knock?"

"Oh yeah!" realization dawned on his face and that freak show finally knocked. God.

Immediately the door opened and a crash was heard.

"Open the door women!" the angry voice of a man called out.

"I'm getting the door the lazy scum!" the lady who had opened the door yelled back. She turned to us and plastered a sweet smile.

"Hi, I'm Mrs Mashiro. Come right in," she shook Natsume's hand then mine and we wondered into the living room. Wait... Mrs Mashiro Dear god Natsume what are you making me do?

"Rima'll be down in a minute. Make yourselves at home," she wondered out and my face paled. Rima. Mashiro. Rima Mashiro. Nagihiko Fujisaki. Tutor. All year. Chibi devil. Retarded cousin. Cereal cat. Tutor. All year.

All year.

No.

No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no.

Me tutoring Rima for a year? No way.

Oh I'm doomed. My life sucks. S-U-C-K-S.

There were footsteps on the stairs and Rima walked into the living room. She took one step into the room, saw me, screamed in fear then ran back upstairs.

"What was that about?" Natsume asked.

"It's because yo brought me to the house of my arch enemy you dumbshit!" I yelled at him. He looked scared. Fucking good.

"So you hate each other?" Natsume had that glow in his eyes. That genius glow of his. He was a genius. He could tell by just a glance that I... I...

"Yes, we hate each other," I blankly told him. He looked amused.

"And you hate her?" Damn. He caught on. I stayed silent and he eyed me for a minute.

"As I thought," and with a smirk he got up. "Good luck bro."

I followed him somewhat reluctantly as we walked up the stairs. The first room on the right was tightly "Rima's Room" in Rima's cute handwriting. I could see a faint outline behind it and could tell that she must have taken a long time with her thin cursive. I smiled.

Natsume banged on the door. "Yo, brat! We're coming in!" And with that Natsume opened the door.

I almost had a nose bleed. Rima's room was covered in photo's of her and Amu and Yaya and the ex guardians. The photo that caught my attention the most was one of her wearing a swimsuit at the beach with Amu. Her hair was up in a pony tail, her bangs covering her forehead and a few strands oh hair on the side of her head purposefully not in the pony tail falling down the side of her head and down to her chest.

She looked so cute.

When I looked at the bed it was lacking the presence of a certain blonde haired devil. Wow. I thought she'd be here.

Then I realized the pair of golden eyes glaring at me from under the bed.

I grinned and she hissed. Yeah. I'm serious. She HISSED.

"Rima, out of their. Come on, it isn't that bad. Just put up with it for... oh I don't know... a year?" I looked innocently thoughtful while saying this before smirking at her.

She stared at me dumbfounded.

Well, look on the bright side. At least I have entertainment.

* * *

**Miyuki: You like?**  
**Rima: Me hate**  
**Nagihiko: Me love**  
**Miyuki: Me like**  
**Rima: Me confused**  
**Nagihiko: Me confused too**  
**Miyuki: Me is wondering why we are still talking like this**  
**Rima: Me says bye!**


	3. The Vent OF DOOM

**Miyuki: sorry about not updating. I was busy with personal stuff. But don't worry, I bring you a update. I can't add my story from my poll because not enough of you have voted!**  
**Rima: Vote. I know where you live so I'll kill you while you sleep if you don't vote.**  
**Nagihiko: Yikes. That's one scary chibi demon.**  
**Miyuki: WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE AND NOT READING?**  
**...**  
**Seeing as how you're still here why don't you do 15 push ups. That's right.**  
**...**  
**NOW START READING!**

**DISCALIMER: Insert random legal shit here. I'm to busy eating to care.**

* * *

_/Natsume's POV\\_  
_This is the manly MAN journal of Fujisaki Natsume. MAN JOURNAL. Not a diary, do you here me?_

"Okay, so the area of a circle with a radius of 17.7 dogs is?" I asked Rima, who was bent down over her notebook. I was leaning into her and watching her closely. Nagihiko was eyeing me with a  
intense glare.

"Dogs?" Rima echoed.

"Yes," I flatly stated. "I ran out of witty ideas so now I'm forced to retreat to dogs. Oh the pain, oh the emptiness," I dramatically put my right hand over where my heart would be and my left on my  
forehead while leaning back in my chair dramatically. Rima giggled and Nagihiko kicked me where the sun don't shine under the table. I grunted and Rima looked at me with a puzzled look.

"You choose now to throw a spaz attack?" She asked me carefully. She looked thoughtful for a second and then said "But hey, as long as I get rid of my tutor, it works for me."

"Why are you so nice to him?" Nagihiko asked coolly. Rima ignored his presence.

"Why?" Nagihiko persisted.

"Shut up before I hurl the table at you," Rima said, not bothering to lift her head from the paper as her brow furrowed. She frustratingly grunted before slamming her fists on the table.

"I can't work!" Rima complained. "I'm too hungry!"

"Me too," Natsume said.

"Let's get ice cream," I suggested.

"Yeah, sure," I said as we all left the house and headed to MaYu's Fried ice Cream Parlor

At Miyuki's GrandIce CreamParlor because MaYu's was closed

"What can I do for you?" A girl with short brown hair and green eyes asked from behind the counter. Her name tag said Miyuki.

"What kind of ice cream do you have here?" Natsume asked.

"Nope," Miyuki flatly said not looking up from the magazine she was reading. Natsume frowned.

"Can we see the menu?"

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Nope."

"Pretty please?"

"Nope."

"I'll give you twenty bucks for it."

"Fine," Miyuki sighed as she reached under the counter and pulled out a menu. "Here you son of a bitch. Cough up or I pull a American and sue."

"You're American?" Nagihiko asked.

"Nope."

Everyone looked confused and Natsume handed over the money and we took our orders. We sat down as Miyuki yelled at some people to get off their lazy asses and make our ice cream.

The door opened and the little bell at the top rang. I looked up and a familiar face face standing at the door. A very familiar face.

Someone Nagihiko won't be all that pleased to see.

_Nagihiko's POV_  
_Rhytm was here! Temari PWNS~ Stay off my diary you two! Nagihiko Fujisaki commands chuuuuuu~_

I looked up at the door as the bell... uh... belled?

At stared. In horror and disgust.

Their, standing their, was my fiancee.

I felt me face turn red in anger. That bitch. That monster. Is she stalking me?

I looked at Natsume and we then looked at Rima, who was busy turning to do one of the kiddy puzzles they had here. I grabbed Rima's hand and she squeaked in surprise Natsume grabbed her other hand and we ran into a broom closet, closing the door and praying they hadn't been spotted.

While, me and Natsume were praying. Rima was trying to burn holes in our heads with her eyes.

"You-" she pointed at me. "And you-" she jabbed a finger at Natsume's chest. "HAVE SERIOUS PROBLEMS. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE IN A CLOSET?"

"It's technically a broom storage facility-" Natsume was cut off by Rima's fierce glare.

"Why. Are. We. In. Here," Rima asked through clenched teeth.

After a short silence I spoke up. "Did you see that girl who just walked in? She's my fiancee."

The look on Rima's face was like I just took her most loved pet, made it eat a bomb, then fed the remains to her brother.

In other words, she looked devastated.

**«RIMA'S POV»**  
**This diary officially belongs to Rima Mashiro! Give it to me now or else I'll end your life. Bala-balance!**

"Did you see that girl who just walked in? She's my fiancee."

My heart momentarily stopped beating and my face turned empty. Once my heart had started beating again I could feel it squeezing in my chest.

"What?" I asked, like a wasted person who wasn't catching on to anything the cop was saying.

"She's my fiancee. We're getting married. At the end of the year."

I felt my heart leap into my throat. One year left. One year with Fujisaki. With that damned freakish cross dresser.

I should be happy, shouldn't I? I mean, the guys getting married for goddness sake. So why am I so sad?

That's it!

IT MUST BE MOOD SWINGS! Yeah. Um right. Mood swings.

"Oh," I dumbly said, causing a extreme awkward silence.

"Do you think she's gone?" Nagihiko asked after a while of awkward fest 2013.

"Maybe... " Natsume said and they both looked at me and I sighed and checked through the door. She was still there.

10 Minutes of preparing me for my "trip."

"Why may I ask again we I have to crawl through the vent?" I asked Natsume, who was kneeling down, his hands outstretched. I stood on them and he hoisted me up to the vent.

"We'll be right behind you. We just want to see if you'll get stuck. If you get stuck we will too. If you don't, we might not get stuck," Natsume explained. Nagihiko had already pried open the vent. I used all my upper body strength to pull myself up to the hole. I looked into it and almost yelped. It went straight down like a slide.

Not to mention, the vent was huge. Not only the hole, but the whole structure. I could get lost in the blink of a eye and be trapped in a air vent for the remainder of my life.

I turned around so my feet dangled down the wall, a few meters above Natsume and Nagihiko's heads.

"What if I get lost?" I asked nervously.

"Don't worry," Natsume said. "As soon as you slide, Nagihiko's going up and as soon as he slides, up I go. Nagihiko has the entire map memorized so it should be to get out once we all get in.

"Right. Right. Okay." I swung my legs into the tunnel and squeezed my eyes tight.

"Be careful, Rima-chan," Nagihiko quietly but honestly said. i jumped in surprise at the worry in his voice and began... sliding.

I screamed.

This tunnel was long.

Too long.

_Nagihiko's POV_  
_Rhytm was here! Temari PWNS~ Stay off my diary you two! Nagihiko Fujisaki commands chuuuuuu~_

Natsume had helped me up and we - I - was getting ready to slide.

I took three deep breaths.

Then, well, I slid.

And said goodbye to my life.

This tunnel was endless.

* * *

**Miyuki: Ohhh, a twist!**  
**Rima: Wow! Big slide! Nice twist -_-**  
**Nagihiko: Indeed**  
**Miyuki: Until next time! Check out my fictionpress account, MiyukiLovesYou :)**


End file.
